It's Out There Now

For years, I have spoken quietly against at times, but mostly just made a face when the following is said:

God will not give you more than you can handle.

Today, I'm putting it out there.
Gloves off.
That statement is false.

A friend sent me a link to someone else saying the same thing and it somehow unleashed the beast in me who wants to use bad words when I hear that statement. I have written about it and held back in the past. Here's some of what I've written:

God will not give you more than you can handle.
Really? Then how do you personally explain that today or yesterday or a particular day last week was more than you could handle? Did something slip by God? Was he looking the other direction? Is he not quite as sovereign as you thought? Or does that mean you're a really bad, weak person who just doesn't try hard enough? Don't try to pretend you haven't had one of those days.

God will not give you more than you can handle.
Yeah, I heard that one while I busy picking out funeral plots for my daughter and my dad. Which coffin? The discount model? Top-of-the-line? What color should the lining be? Yeah, I can TOTALLY handle this because I believe God is sovereign (so far, so good) and he doesn't send anything I can't handle (ummm, just lost it), so I've got this. NOT. Fast forward to me standing in the cemetary screaming at God at the top of my lungs, telling him I hated him and using every bad word I could think of. Yup. Did that.

God will not give you more than you can handle.
That totally worked for me when my very soul crumbled under the weight of betrayal from someone we were supposed to be able to trust. NOT. Instead, I totally fell apart and my physical body followed suit.

Apparently, I can't handle anything.
This is obvious since I turn into a wreck of a person with alarming regularity.
True story.
It's all on me.
I can't do it.

Duh.
That's the whole entire freaking point.
I.
Can't.
Handle.
Anything.

So why in the name of baloney sandwiches have people been "comforting" each other with this destructive, unbiblical "truth" for as long as I can remember? Is that the best we can do when a friend or spouse or sibling or child comes to us, utterly undone, at the end of themselves, unsure how to take a step forward? Let's take that tiny little phrase and think about how it sounds to someone in the throes of despair: You know God won't give you more than you can handle, so there's obviously something wrong with you that you can't handle this. Or maybe God just isn't quite as good and big as you thought.

Comforting, right?

Read the Bible. Tell me when you find this "truth". (Hint: It's not I Corinthians 10:13 which specifically refers to temptation.) Please know, you will need to get a very creative translation. The standard ones will make this little search rough on you. You might want to find a translation that excludes the entire book of Job, some of Jesus' teachings, noticeable part of the epistles, and a good number of Psalms. Oh yeah, and forget the prophetic books all together. And Joseph's story. And David's story. Actually, just skip the Bible on this one. It's no help.

From the beginning, in that ancient book of Job, God tells us we WILL suffer and it WILL hurt and we CAN'T handle it. Has something changed? Maybe Jesus changed it up. For instance, take a look at John 15. Doggone it. What is that Jesus said? "Apart from me you can do nothing." Let's define that word. Nothing. Hmmm, actually there's not much to define. It's hard to find anyone who disagrees on what "nothing" means.

Based on the fact that apart from Jesus, who sustains everything, we can't even draw a breath, I tend to think the Bible teaches that God will give you more than you can handle every blooming second of your life. Aren't we the same people who could do NOTHING to deal with our separation from God because of sin? Aren't we the same people that God sent Jesus to save because we were utterly helpless? But, it seems in our fierce pride, we overlook this until something comes our way that we can no longer pretend to "handle".

And we're on our faces.
Unsure how to take the next breath.
Starkly aware of our utter lack of self-sufficiency.
And it is there we find that God never intended for us to handle anything.

As for me? The girl who screamed at God and told him she hated him? He let me do that and then wrapped me up in his arms and let me cry it out. For two years. And some other dark seasons. And rough afternoons. And long nights. And mornings devoid of joy. And a couple of days last week when the pain of people I love got to be so huge.

Let's quit beating each other (and ourselves) up over something God never said. Let's pray for one another. Let's weep with one another. Let's stand watch for the ones we love who are down for the count. Let's humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God and finally fess up.

I can't do it.
It's more than I can handle.
I need thee every hour, most precious Lord.