Amazing or Amazed?

I have to be honest. For most of my life, I have wanted to DO something BIG. I have these amazing people that God has brought into my life over the years and they have truly done amazing things. For me, I tend to define "amazing things" as being in full-time missions work, running an orphanage, serving the homeless, adopting/fostering kids....those kinds of things. My days don't really ever look particularly amazing. They look suspiciously ordinary. OK, they are ordinary. But, the desire of my heart are pretty big sometimes.

Over time, the desires of my heart have truly changed. You know that psalm? The one that says, "Delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart?" Well, my dad explained a long time ago that people like to interpret it as, "Like God a lot, and he will give you everything you ask for." He told me never to think of it that way. God is not waiting in heaven to grant our earthly wishes, he's waiting for us to start thinking the way he thinks and wanting what he wants. He's waiting for us to look at him long enough that he can show us our real desires.

The desires in my heart are huge. When Elijah tells me he wants to be a mighty warrior, my desire is for God to turn him into a passionate warrior, a man of justice, a man who stands up for those who can't, a man utterly devoted to his God.

When Joseph tells me he might want to be a pastor, my desire is for him also to be utterly devoted to his God, a man of truth, a man unafraid to speak the Word, a man willing to lay down his life for those he serves.

My desire for Brian is that he will look to God and God alone for approval, and the voices and events that can threaten to derail him will fade away into insignificance as he fixes his eyes on Jesus.

I just don't know where I'm at personally with these big desires. It seems some days my biggest desire for myself is to just have the strength to equal my day. I pray this (from Moses' blessing over the tribe of Asher), often in desperation as I feel my body or emotions or both slipping, failing, and entirely too much of the day remains. It doesn't really seem I'm DOING those amazing things I have long dreamed of.

Today, without any amazing things on my resume, I am meditating on this one truth. God never has to give me anything that looks amazing to anyone else. I serve an amazing God, and today I choose to let myself once again be wholeheartedly amazed at Him and what He has done.