Joseph was diagnosed with celiac disease last week. And in the last few days, as I have reeled a bit and he has reeled a bit, this is what God has given to me.
"You hem me in, behind and before. You have laid your hand upon me." (Psalm 139)
"For this reason I will fence her in with thornbushes. I will block her path with a wall to make her lose her way....But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there." (Hosea 2)
Words of life.
Words of a good God.
Words of grace.
Words of comfort.
And words that need a second, third, and twenty-seventh reading.
I used to skim over the Psalm 139 part and think how nice and comforting that was. That was right up until Hosea just leapfrogged onto my list of favorite all-time books of the Bible and I had to deal with Hosea 2 and how God speaks of what he's doing small-scale in Gomer's life and large-scale in Israel's life.
Hemmed in isn't as comforting as it first sounded to me.
It doesn't really sound nice on second thought.
Actually, it's a bit restrictive if you think about it.
Being hemmed in, blocked, led into the desert--these aren't things I can control.
They happen TO me.
Because God does them TO me. On purpose.
I need to think about that.
It means I have to deal with a God who is telling me flat-out that he is actively hemming me in both behind and before. He might make me lose my way on purpose. He might block my path, my intentions, my will. He might lead me into the desert. And I'm so glad I have to deal with that God. Underneath it all, do I really want a God who just sort of wanders along with me, saying nice things and smiling vapidly at me, as I rush into self-destruction, idolatry, and ruinous self-sufficiency? Or do I want a God who reaches out his gentle arms of steel and says, "No. I am absolutely not going to let you go that way. I'm taking you here or you will spend your days in vanity, missing the life Jesus died to start in you right now."
There is no forgetting with all the hemming, blocking, and taking to thirsty places that God says, "And I will speak tenderly to her there." Forgetting this part is forgetting the best part. The part when God has my attention. My full attention. And I look at him and he speaks tenderly to me. And I am captivated.
Yes, I will deal with that God.
Maybe I will tremble a little, knowing how much I fear pain.
But I will not miss out for the world because there is nothing like God speaking tenderly to me.
And here, he speaks tenderly, right into the week we just completed.
This week, as my precious gift from God, Joseph, finally has a diagnosis.
Celiac disease.
And here in the desert,
...here where he is hemmed in
...here where he is blocked
...here where he would not have chosen to go
...I pray that my Joseph will learn the wild, indescribable joy of hearing God speak tenderly to him.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I am sorry and relieved for you all at the same time. If I can help in any way, let me know. I know some good recipes and gf products.
ReplyDeleteI really like your description and elaboration of being hemmed in by God. I had never thought about the intentionality of it and how He leads us into good and bad boldly and with a purpose. May His grace be on your family as you digest (no pun intended) this news for Joseph.
ReplyDeletePatti, your post brings so many pictures to my mind. For some reason Hagar in the wilderness with Ishmael is one of them.(no parallels of Brian = Abraham) The anguish that she felt over her son. Genesis 21:17-20, God heard the voice of the boy, and the angel of God called to Hagar from Heaven and said to her, "What's wrong,Hagar? Don't be afraid, for God has heard the voice of the boy from the place where he is. Get up, help the boy up, and sustain him, for I will make him a great nation." Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water...God was with the boy and he grew..." May God bring springs of refreshing during your time in the wilderness with Joseph and the reassurance that He hears and is with you.
ReplyDelete