Free to Enjoy This Place

Last night was the big trip to IKEA. Elijah went nuts. He absolutely loved it. I am pretty sure he opened 42% of all the drawers and doors in the whole store. If you've been there, you know that means he opened approximately 23,992 doors and drawers. He climbed on every bed, couch, and chair he could get to. He had such a blast. We went there for him, so we just kind of followed him and let him enjoy it.

We did not buy anything. Nope. Nothing. Not even the 49 cent wooden spoon pack or the $3.99 set of storage containers. Nothing. Nada. I think we were the only ones not buying in the whole place. We did see a kitchen table we liked. We also saw options for a simple piece of furniture we would much prefer over our Walmart special baker's rack in the kitchen. I saw a nice rug. We saw nice low-profile pieces of furniture for our TV rather than the ancient particle board armoire we have. We both saw comfy chairs we liked quite a bit and some couches that would look just right in our house. We both really liked their low-cost lighting options. It was a fun night.

This morning, however, I had an IKEA hangover. I woke up and did not like my house. At all. I needed to re-do the entire thing. I forgot how to see my house. I started looking at it through the filter of all the things people say to me about it and through the filter of an IKEA showroom. All the comments of, "so this is just a rental, right?" or "I feel so sorry for you" (yeah, someone said that) or "my family would never be able to live here" kind of started spinning in my heart.

I also started seeing all the imperfections of our house through the eyes of others. Rickety doors, old roof, peeling paint, old carpet, scary-old countertops, cheesy cabinets....the list started playing in my head.

I forgot all about how God has been teaching me contentment. I lost my freedom to enjoy this place this morning and fell into the slavery of discontent.

I tried to tell God that maybe it would be nice if we could just have blinds that worked or doors that were on straight or or or or.....Then I gave up. I confessed my discontent. I opened my eyes to what I have received from the hand of God and freedom washed over me again. I am free to serve my family here. I am free to watch the sunset from my window. I am free to love on my friends that visit us here. I am free to care for this place and the people that inhabit this place. I am free to laugh at my funny blinds. I am free to turn my discontent to what matters....I never want to be content with my relationship with God where it is. I never want to be content that there are people around me who don't know Jesus.