Aaarrrggghhh!!!

Today was blood work to check up on my cholesterol and liver. Yesterday, I had to get fit for a night mouthguard before my back molar cracks. In the next few days, I need to color my roots. My neck looks like a road map. My hands have some age spots. I have enough lines in my forehead to write in the first two bars to "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." I have veins showing in my ankles. And let's just not speak of the stomach region unless you are a plastic surgeon offering me a free tummy tuck. And this is only 40? Wow.

I already got my blood test results. My cholesterol went up. My doctor will not be happy. I know I'm not. Cholesterol is one of those super-loaded topics these days. I have received lots of advice and opinions from both sides of the cholesterol debate. It basically ranges from "never be in the same room with fat again" to "eat beef fat dipped in butter for breakfast" and all opinions in between. All I have to say is that life looks different on this side of a heart attack. I totally respect the discussion going on about how docs are making too big a deal of cholesterol. I realize we need some cholesterol in our bodies. I get all that. It's just I had a camera and a balloon stuffed into a major artery to take care of something that was clogging up my little, eensy, weensy, undersized heart arteries. It hurt. It was scary. I would prefer not to repeat that experience, given the choice. Loose pieces of cholesterol floating about my blood do not seem friendly to me.

I have walked more miles than I ever cared to walk. I don't think lack of exercise is the problem. Apparently, I have allowed too much saturated fat to creep back into my diet.

Lest you imagine sky-high cholesterol numbers, please know--mine is utterly normal...for someone without heart attack risk factors. I just have to figure out what next. I already have a pretty terrifically limited diet (thank you, allergies). I also hate anything besides butter on my bread. I have tried and tried to adjust to the healthy olive oil spread stuff and....blech. I tried flaxseed in my cereal every morning for months. I really don't like it. I have ground-up spinach in my smoothies. I have changed everything my tastebuds are capable of dealing with. I just have limits. Or, maybe I don't. Maybe I'm just being a wimp.

This moment in time finds me somewhat discouraged. Most likely, I will host a pity party this afternoon. The menu? Water and green beans. If you do plan to attend, you should probably text me because I will be out walking for the next four hours.

Aaaaarrgggghhh!! Primal scream over. I am more fully convinced than ever that this body is going nowhere but downhill, so I'd better make sure my focus is on the hope I have in Jesus Christ and the sanctifying work he is doing in me. Jars of clay. Treasure in jars of clay.