There, peeping above the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for awhile. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up and out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing; there was light and high beauty forever beyond its reach. J.R.R. Tolkien

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Taking a Breath

I haven't had a chance to just sit and take a relaxed breath in awhile. Church activites and family activities on Easter weekend usually keep us moving pretty fast to keep up. The boys had 4 different egg and treasure hunts. Since I keep their candy consumption closely regulated, we may have Easter candy in the pantry for the next 6 months!

This Easter brought some odd echoes from last May when I had my major allergic reaction. I ate a chocolate Easter egg and blew up a balloon almost a year ago and ended up in the back of an ambulance. At first, everyone suspected the Easter candy, but tests showed it was the latex in the balloon. So much has changed. My world seems scarier than it did before, my diet is severely limited, I look for balloons everywhere I go, I carry a huge list in my purse to make sure I don't accidentally eat something I can't, I take my own food everywhere I go, I am weak. It has been a difficult stretch, learning to accept my new limitations. I can't even take my children to medical appointments where latex is used or to birthday parties where balloons are. Honestly, I have not enjoyed this new phase in life. I have chafed against it. Then, Easter morning in church, I had this moment with God. He reminded me that Jesus took on my frailty and my sin when he hung on the cross. My frailty and sin weren't a bother to him, rather they were his singular focus on this earth. His compassion for me stunned me all over again.

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