Reflections on 19

I was 19 years old when I got married. Today, I have officially been married for 19 years. This feels like a big one for me. The first 19 years I was able to spend with a Dad and a Mom who were growing in the Lord that whole time and pointing me toward that path as well. These next 19, I've gotten to spend with a husband who has been growing in the Lord that whole time and continuing to point me along that path as well. I have been given much in the way of spiritual leadership in my life.

Reflecting over my 19 years of marriage brings back so much. College, seminary, buying houses, killing cockroaches, saying hello and good-bye to friends, loss, struggle, dreams, dreams denied, adventures, quarrels, financial hardship, laughter, growth, challenge, fear, hospitals, learning, cats, dance lessons, cars, car repairs, car wrecks, household projects, painting, tears, bookstores....what an odd and disorderly list. Interesting, though. That's just how it's been. Nothing's come in any particular order. Laughter, adventure and food poisoning can all happen in the same 24 hours. Unthinkable grief can crowd out wild anticipation and joy in a moment. Cleaning the house can happen the day before the world-changing birth of a child. A quarrel, a cockroach incident, miraculous financial provision, and a burned batch of pancakes--all in the same day. A day that begins with a relaxed cup of coffee together can end with two people holding hands in the emergency room wondering what's next. So many days shared as life rolls along.

This is what I know. God's faithfulness is what makes 19 years of marriage move two people closer together rather than further apart. My heart is full of gratitude and amazement at this journey shared and a God who has been in it all.

I love you, Brian Grams. You look at me and see what is not yet there. You see what God is still working on. You see beauty in the rough. No one has ever looked at me the way you do. God has given me a glimpse through you of what it will be to have Jesus look at me face to face.