A Screenplay

If my life were a screenplay, here's a sample. The three main characters are Joseph (J), Elijah (E), and me/Mom (M).

Scene open with boys playing Bionicles and Mom walking in the room.

M: Hey, guys. I'm going upstairs to take a shower, okay? (no response from boys, Bionicles continue to be thrown around the room) Boys, did you hear me? (no response, Mom adjusts voice to be louder) Boys! Where did I say I was going?

J: (looks at Mom with puzzled, hurt) We heard you, Mom. You're going to take a shower.

E: (looks at Mom with innocent face, large eyes) Yeah, Mom. We heard you.

M: Okay. (Mom goes upstairs, Bionicles continue their epic battle)

62 seconds later - Mom is in in upstairs bathroom and has just undressed for shower, she hears something....)

E: Mom! Mom! Mom!

M: (sighs deeply, attempts to modulate voice to appropriate level) What is it, boys?

E: (appears not to notice Mom's response) Mom! Mom!

J: Mom!

M: (sighs more deeply, attempts again to modulate voice to appropriate level but is less successful) What is it boys? I'm getting in the shower! Is someone hurt?

E&J: Mom! Mom! Come downstairs! Quick!

M: (begins hurriedly donning clothes and muttering to self) I'm coming and there had better be blood or there's going to be trouble. And, if there's blood, there's going to be trouble too! (Mom arrives downstairs, boys are blissfully unaware of her muttered threats)

E: Mom, Joseph can't find the weapon for Ackar anywhere!!!

M: Who's Ackar?

J: Whaddya mean, Mom? You know who he is.

M: No, I actually don't.

J: Mom, he's my Bionicle. You know the red one?

M: (in disbelief) Your Bionicle? (at this point, all attempts at a well-modulated voice end) Your Bionicle? I am trying to take a shower? Didn't I mention that about six thousand times?

J: Oh, sorry, Mom. I forgot. (he appears genuinely repentant) But could you help me find Ackar's weapon? I think it landed somewhere over there (points) when he was fighting the anaconda or maybe it went over there (points in different direction) when he was fighting the giraffe. We can't finish the war without his weapon or Stronius will defeat him. (Mom chooses not to ask who Stronius is)

E: Mom, we really need Ackar's weapon. It's important!

M: (searches the room, locates the weapon no where near anywhere Joe pointed, begins to grumpily leave the room) Boys, I'm going upstairs to take a shower, okay? (no answer) Boys? (no answer) Boys?......