Camp

I walked away and left my Joseph sitting in a teepee at summer camp a couple of hours ago. I am so excited to hear his stories when we pick him up on Saturday, but my heart is feeling a little fragile at the moment. This is a big deal. For him. For me. And, I now have myself a constant companion--his younger brother who is chattering to me as I type and patting my arm.

I think I will cry later today. That boy in the teepee is part of me. I have watched his 10 year journey. He was the baby who defied all sleep "wisdom" in books. (I threw several away). He was the tiny little boy who suffered terribly from nightmares and night terrors. He was the preschooler who was terrified to sleep. He was the 7-year-old who routinely lay awake until after midnight trying to force himself to sleep and failing. He was the 8-year-old in tears because he wanted to sleep like other kids and couldn't. He was the 9-year-old, who finally started to see some victory, but still had horrible nights of insomnia. He is now my 10-year-old who wanted to go to camp.

I've lost a lot of sleep over this boy. My sleep schedule is probably permanently altered from the insanely late nights I've lived for so many years. I've tried so many vitamins, diet changes, you name it--I've probably tried it. I have tried to remain patient with the well-meaning advice not to let him have caffeine near bedtime. Let me just say--HE DOESN'T DRINK CAFFEINE AT ALL. Whew. Got that off my chest.

Anyway.....for so many years, we have asked God to help him sleep. It still doesn't come as easily as sleep does for so many, but our boy sleeps now! God has been with him, with all of us in this. I will miss Joseph so much this week. I feel a tad bit achy, but I'm smiling in it all to know he has this chance none of us were sure he would ever have.