Ab Workout

I did an ab workout today. It was amazing. My abs are going to be so sore. Here's how it went:

1) Open first sample vial provided by thoughtful local doctor, pull out mini-spork, and dig into fresh container of.....can't talk about it.

2) Repeat until vial fills to red line. Gag convulsively the entire time. Eyes should be watering copiously and family should be hovering anxiously outside the door.

3) Open second sample vial provided by thoughtful local doctor, pull out mini-spork, and dig into fresh container of....still can't talk about it.

4) Repeat Step #2.

5) Open third sample vial provided by thoughtful local doctor, pull out mini-spork, and dig into fresh container of....really not going to talk about it.

6) Repeat Step #2.

7) Proceed to unspeakable process of emptying container of....nope, not gonna say it. Do not forget to continue gagging and dry heaving or your ab workout will not be as effective as advertised.

8) Relax abdominal muscles and breathe deeply, once distance between sample room and own body is well-established.

9) Realize that you will never see a spork the same way again.

I deserve a 6-pack for this. Abs, I mean. Not beer. Just clarifying.

We need to find out what's going on with Elijah.