Maybe it would be easier to title all my posts with what school day I'm on from here on out. The rest of my life revolves around it, maybe the blog should. Who knows? Seems like a good idea today. I'll re-visit it tomorrow. Most likely, I'll no more be able to title my blogs with "Day #" that I'll be able to spray paint the interior of my house beige.
I'm OK with homeschool again.
I wasn't. At all.
I'm still not contributing financially to the family. It still doesn't free up any time for me. (Rather, quite the opposite.) It still isn't easy. This week, I just utterly crashed about homeschool. Since May, I've struggled with our decision to continue homeschooling. Not being able to contribute financially really bothers me. It was also somewhat of a crisis of me not feeling able to give my kids what they needed. And, I cannot discount the fact that even though homeschool and planning might come easily for some, I spend a great deal of time and mental energy planning, keeping up, keeping records, and evaluating. Choosing curriculum is a massive task for me as well.
Yesterday, I met with a friend who also happens to homeschool. She wanted us to spend a couple of hours just going through homeschool stuff, looking at our piles, sharing ideas, asking each other questions, and......praying. Yup, praying. The time we spent in prayer refreshed my soul and restored my peace about our decision to continue homeschooling. I anticipate some rough days. I'm a sinner and I homeschool a couple of sinners. That's just a recipe for some rough days. However, I feel like I finally got a break in this tension about homeschool that's been building for months. I'm finally ready again.
I'm still not the shiny amazing homeschool mom that seems to exist in blogs and curriculum magazines and homeschool events.
I still second and third and fourth guess curriculum choices.
I still see what other homeschool families do and think maybe I should do more.
But I'm ready for it now. Let me qualify that. I'm ready for it as long as I'm doing this God's way--abiding in Him, waiting on Him, looking to Him.
Oh, one more thing. I love, love, love our new school space. Love it.
Oh, and just one more thing after that. The last three days have already reminded me of so many of the things I love about homeschool.
That's all. Really.
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A place I created to collect and share some of my journey as a child of God and a follower of Jesus Christ mostly because I don't get to share nearly enough of it on a daily basis with those I love.
There, peeping above the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for awhile. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up and out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing; there was light and high beauty forever beyond its reach. J.R.R. Tolkien
Me
- Patti G
- I am on the journey of life which right now involves raising 2 boys, being married to my highschool sweetheart (who is still a sweetheart), homeschooling, and teaching whoever will listen. Mostly I am learning what it means to be loved by Jesus and learning to love him back.
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