Static

Static becomes a real issue for me this time of year when it is cold and bone dry outside. It goes way beyond just needing dryer sheets. I have some sort of problem with conducting static electricity wherever I go. The boys are scared to touch me because they'll get shocked. I'm pretty careful about touching something else to get the shock out before I kiss them. They're not terrifically fond of being shocked directly on the lips or cheek!

Here are some of the ways I get shocked:
1) Turning lights on and off.
2) Touching my locker at the gym.
3) Stepping on the floor of the garage when I get out of the car. (The shock travels through the sole of my shoe when I step out.)
4) Touching a shelf, canned good, or refrigerator/freezer handle at the grocery store. (This is particularly painful. Grocery shopping is kind of scary this time of year.)
5) Touching the handle of my grocery cart. (Actually, the shocks tend to travel regularly through the cart handle into my hands. Target stores are the worst for this. Something about their floors makes more static.)
6) Bumping my grocery cart into a metal shelf. (The shock travels into my hands. One time, I bumped carts with someone, and the shock traveled through both carts and her hands got shocked too. My bangs actually lifted up with this one. It was powerful stuff. I think the other lady was a bit frightened of me.)
7) Touching the door of the car to close it after I get out.

I have learned a coping technique. It hurts less to be shocked through my shoe than directly on my hand, so I often "get the shock out" by touching something my shoe and then opening or closing it.

I used to think this was normal until I brought it up in casual conversation and everyone looked at me like I had escaped from the set of X-Men. I have tried dryer sheets in my pockets. It didn't work. I have always wondered. Is it possible to have a high metal content in one's body? Weird. So now you know. I'm sure you've always suspected, but now you know for sure I have superpowers.....