Adding to the Tank of Tears

Today the tears came. Do you ever have one of those days? It's not that anything earth-shattering has happened, there's just a pile of small things. The trouble with small things is that they add up. One major thing that weighs perhaps 16 emotional pounds is the same weight as 16 small things that weight 1 emotional pound each. Today, the 16 small things caught up and smacked me hard. As I sat journaling a prayer to my heavenly Father and letting the tears run down my cheeks, I realized that instead of the things of earth growing strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace, I had gotten upside-down somehow. The light of the glory and grace of Jesus had grown strangely dim in the light of the things of this earth. It just happens so fast sometimes.

So....I headed back once again to the only guaranteed refuge I know--my Abba, my Daddy. He met me there (which NEVER ceases to amaze me that he wants to meet little ol' me right there in the mess of tears and doubts and hurts and fears) and swept me up and let me cry. He reminded me that he has personally invited me to pour out my heart to him (Ps. 62:8). He also reminded me that he has kept track of all my sorrows, collected my tears in a bottle, and recorded each one in his book. (Ps. 56:8) Just a side note, do you ever laugh about the size bottle God would need to bottle your tears. I'm pretty sure that he doesn't use a cute little sparkly bottle for me, more like one of those giant water tanks I see on the back of trucks.....

Anyway, nothing has actually gotten better today. It's all still there, but the light of his glory and grace is brighter and the pile is smaller and further away. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.