It's been a long week. Really, really, really long. Nothing has gone smoothly, interruptions and changes of plans have reigned. Croup has invaded. Loneliness has knocked at the door and even come in and plopped on the couch a couple of different times. Cooking and meal planning has threatened to leave me on my knees begging for mercy. (I actually skipped dinner last night and just got the kids a $5 pizza.) My failures and weaknesses have paraded past me--repeatedly. I have journaled and prayed and journaled and prayed, but the minute I leave my cozy corner with God, something finds me immediately and tries to grab me. Logically I know I cannot spend an entire week in my special corner with my Bible and journal, but I think I would prefer it. I'm okay, more than okay with my time with the Lord. It's just so much of the rest of it that doesn't feel okay.....speaking of the rest of it.....a friend posted this quote this week on Facebook. If you haven't seen it, let it soak in a minute (or a lifetime)....
Have you finally given it up and said to God, "I'm all in. It's all yours God." Are you ready to live the hand that He deals you?
I'm not sure I am ready to live the entire hand He's dealt me. I think I've been trying to trade in some cards this week. I do want to be ready. I want the times in my quiet corner to transform all the other times, not stand in stark contrast. I want to be all in.
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Well now, that's a scary quote. I'm reading the Great Romance right now and it talks a lot about the feeling of wanting to abandon your control of your life and give it to God and struggling with the need to be in control. I like to feel like I have control, but it sure would be nice to let someone greater take over!
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